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Displays of affection between parents, children win praise
POST-DISPATCH

Dear Abby — Thank you for your response to "Alarmed in Apple Valley" (Aug. 28), who was concerned because her teenage nephew shows so much affection toward his mother. I raised a very affectionate son who, to this day at age 30, hugs and kisses me no matter where we meet. I raised him with the principle that because he is male does not mean he has to hide his feelings as generations before him did.

Americans coddle girls when they hurt, but a boy is supposed to "take it like a man" and not express his feelings. I am pleased to know other mothers out there are also raising their sons to be well-rounded, emotionally healthy men.



I advised the "Alarmed" aunt that she was off base in her concerns, and the majority of readers who wrote to comment agreed. Read on:




Dear Abby — Have we become so cynical in this day and age that genuine affection is looked upon as dirty and unsavory? How sad!

My 22-year-old daughter hangs on me and smooches me (and her father and grandparents) in public. It's a great feeling for parents to know their kid loves them and isn't embarrassed to be seen with them. The aunt who complained about her nephew kissing his mother on the cheek and putting his arm around her may have intimacy problems that she's projecting onto her sister.

Dear Abby — I hope "Alarmed in Apple Valley" doesn't end up doing what my sister did when she saw the display of affection between my 11-year-old daughter and me, her dad. My sister's "concern" prompted her to coerce her adult son into visiting my clergyperson about it. A short investigation found me innocent of wrongdoing but left me with my innocence violated. Relationships were drastically altered — especially between my sister and me.

Dear Abby — I was never prouder of my son than when a friend of his said to him, "You hug your mom in public?" (It was after a game.) I was the one to hold back in public because I didn't want to embarrass my son who was a "big guy on campus." My boy's simple reply to his friend was, "Don't you?" It was never questioned again.



www.DearAbby.com



P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069

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