When Mark Carroll began searching for a nursing home for his mother, Virgie Carroll, he had many advantages.

Not least was her permission.

“Mother had given me the green light 20 or 30 years ago,” said Mark, 43. “She told me to put her where she needs to be when she needs to be there. That’s why it wasn’t so hard for me to start thinking of this.”


Along with the blessing from Virgie, some other factors worked in the Carrolls’ favor. Mark had the ability and tools to navigate Web sites that often contain complex information about nursing homes, or details that are difficult to decipher.

In addition, Mark had a working knowledge of his parents’ estate — including the information that they had bought a long-term care insurance policy in the 1980s. He had ideas on the type and location of home he wanted, and he got advice from an experienced caregiver at the day-care center his mother attended.
All of those things helped make it possible for Virgie, 75 and suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, to be put into a home where her husband, Lawrence, can visit faithfully twice a day and where she can get good care and plenty of attention.

The Carrolls planned in a way that helped them get the result they wanted.

Other scenarios, played out daily across the United States, are less successful.

In most cases, nursing home admissions arise out of crisis, usually in one of two settings:

n In a hospital: Typically, a family member is told that mom or dad will be released from the hospital in a couple of days and they must find a nursing home admission immediately.

n At home: The elderly person has an accident that makes it clear he or she can no longer live alone.

Experts strongly advise that advance planning, or, at minimum, some understanding of what’s available to elderly people and their families, can ease the transition from independence to long-term care.