You + your college admission counselor. Best Friends Forever! Well, maybe not. Okay, maybe you won't even talk to her or him after moving onto campus. But trust me, when you're searching for the perfect college, filling out admission forms, struggling to grasp financial aid, and wondering what size sheets to buy ... your college admission counselor will shine like a beacon in the dark.

We were lucky, my son Dan and I. Utterly naïve about the college admission process, we landed squarely in the safety net of Teresa Haney, an admission counselor at Southeast Missouri State University. I'm not really sure how Teresa ended up with us, I just remember the day my son came to me and said, "I've been talking to this admission counselor at SEMO named Teresa, and she said I need to do this."

Don't ask me what "this" was. It could have been that he needed to file his admission application by a certain date, or schedule a college tour, or nudge up his ACT to increase his chance for scholarships. I don't know what "this" was, because from that moment forward, Teresa became our go-to girl for all things SEMO whether Dan was chatting with her online or corresponding via e-mail, or I was calling from my office with a "worried mom" question.

"We get a lot of those," said Jennifer Garten, assistant director of Admissions at Maryville University in St. Louis. "And I don't mind at all. Often I'm the first person the family meets. I visit a lot of high schools and participate in lots of college fairs. I hand out my card so that people can contact me directly if they have questions. I always feel more comfortable asking questions of people I have had the chance to meet face-to-face. I want the students and their families to feel comfortable calling me."

Josie Blasdel, director of Admissions at McKendree University in Lebanon, Ill., agreed. "My favorite part of my job is working with the student. The admission process is very personal (and this mom might add sometimes overwhelming). Sometimes we have to hold the student's and the parent's hands. Our counselors are trained to make the transition from high school to college as easy as possible."

Sometimes helping a student to make the best decision means guiding that student away from the school you represent.

"People think that if they call me for advice, I'll try to sell them on Webster," said Paul Carney, vice president for Enrollment and Student Affairs at Webster University in St. Louis. "That's not true. The job of an admission counselor is to help the student find the right match. Sometimes that match is Webster and sometimes it is not."

Garten tells of a recent university visit with a young woman who was "really into rodeo."

"Obviously, we don't have rodeo here at Maryville, but I was able to help her locate other colleges that had what she wanted, including rodeo," Garten said. She told the young woman to feel free to call with questions.

"Some things, like filling out the FAFSA or what questions to ask when taking a college tour, are pretty much the same from school to school. If I can help I'm happy to do so," Garten said.

I was glad to hear that. I remember asking Teresa some pretty odd questions, especially since my son wasn't even in the country when college started. He was in Edinburgh, Scotland, participating with the Golden Eagles Marching Band in a month-long music festival.

"I had a lot of concerns and questions," I confessed, "and I always turned to Teresa for answers or redirection."

Garten laughed. "I completely understand," she said. "My role changes depending on the current needs of the student and the family. Recently, I had the mom of freshman call and say, 'Jennifer, he's sick. What does he do?'"

While Garten stopped short of bringing the student chicken soup, she did help him and his worried mom through the basics of receiving care from the university health center.

"I appreciate the relationships that develop out of the admission process," Garten said.

Blasdel agreed. "I have the privilege of working with McKendree's international students," she said. "This year, I had the chance to come in on a Saturday and meet with the father of a student from Scotland. The dad only had a limited amount of time to be on campus and see the area where his son would be living and learning. We'd been talking via e-mail and Skyping (video internet calling, online at Skype.com), so it was nice to be able to meet him in person." Blasdel said she won't be surprised if this dad keeps e-mailing and Skyping. "Our counselors are the face of McKendree University. They are the liaisons who make the transition smooth (even across continents).

"Our offices are located off the student lounge, so from time to time I'll get a call from a parent, usually a mom, asking if I've seen her student, usually a son, and wondering how he is doing," Blasdel said.

I laughed, but it was a knowing laugh. A month after my son started college, three months after he left for band camp and Scotland, I ran into Teresa, the SEMO counselor, at a college fair. She asked if I had heard from Dan. When I admitted that I was having some trouble pining my boy down, she said, 'Well! I'm going to find him tomorrow and tell him to call his mother."
Know what? He did.

What a college admission counselor can do for you:
Though your college admission counselor might even bring you soup if you ask politely, his or her real role is helping you find the best college to meet your needs. While the choice is yours, a college admission counselor can help you by:

bringing their colleges and universities to you via high school visits and college tours

understanding better than anyone, including your friends,

— the requirements for admission

— the application process and critical deadlines

— the availability of scholarships and financial aid

— the importance of campus visits

having connections and introducing you to faculty and staff

knowing who to ask when you stump them

keeping a calendar of very important dates, such as when your application and housing contract is due

rooting for the home team, but honoring your individual decision

calming parents and "landing helicopters"