Like it or not, we are approaching another Valentine's Day. Today's column begins as a reminder for those of you who may have otherwise forgotten to plan a special something for that special someone, as well as an opportunity to check out last-minute travel deals for those of you who care to escape to a country that doesn't observe this tradition at all.
In the end, I hope it takes you beyond both of these choices.
The history behind Valentine's Day is elusive, but seems to date back to the beginnings of Christianity with stories of saints and Roman intrigue. Over time it became an opportunity for folks to express romantic love to their sweethearts. People began to share cards, candy and gifts as tokens of their affection. Today, according to www.history.com, more than 1 billion Valentine cards are sold each year, putting these sales second in volume to Christmas. Eighty-five percent of these are actually purchased by women.
Unfortunately, this day that is supposed to honor love and affection too often generates feelings of disappointment and even resentment. Someone is upset when they don't receive the right gift or feels left out because they don't have a special someone to share the day with. If you have found yourself in either situation, you do have choices. You may catch a flight to the Middle East, where the observation of Valentine's Day is forbidden. You may crawl under the covers and set your alarm for Feb. 15. Better yet, you may begin your own tradition that puts the focus back on love.
That's what I did many years ago, and I haven't looked back. I was a single parent of two small children. When Valentine's Day arrived, I spread a lace cloth on the table. I set out my nicest Corelleware and traded sippy cups for juice glasses. I borrowed some cloth napkins from my mom, lowered the lights and lit a candle as the table centerpiece. I gave them each a valentine card that expressed my love for them, a little stuffed animal and some candy.
Today my family is much bigger. My husband and I share our home with five wonderful children. The two I started with are now 22 and 17, and we are also blessed with one who is 20, another who is 17 and a fifth who is 8. Our kids are able to take care of one another, so that Mike and I could easily slip out for a romantic dinner on this occasion. Yet, all these years later, we still celebrate Valentine's Day as a family. No matter how old they get, they look forward to our celebration of the love we have for each other.
This Valentine's Day, whether you're feeling alone or are loved by someone special, I would challenge you to think outside that box of chocolates to all those you love and whom you are loved by. Could someone you know be lonely? Reach out and put the focus of the day where it belongs. It's not about material acquisition, keeping up with the Jonses or flaunting that special relationship to others. In fact, for all the mystery behind the origins of this celebration, one common theme emerged in all my research: love.
Kim Dailey, of Columbia, is a wife, mother of five, and special education teacher in south St. Louis County who relies on her faith and sense of humor to survive in this crazy world. In her free time she soaks it in, sorts it out and writes about life.
