"He's my soul mate!"

How many of you have that friend who continually declares they've found "the one," only to inform you a couple of weeks later they were wrong, but have found another, and he or she is, for sure, the one?

Many spend what seems like an eternity waiting for that perfect match. So how come when we finally find him or her, all seems to fall apart? You find out he allows cereal-encrusted bowls to pile up in the sink, his parenting style is the opposite of yours, he continually leaves the toilet seat up (to where you've fallen in a few times more times than you'd like to admit).

You then question your decision, your judgment, your relationship. Maybe he's not the one for me. Maybe my soul mate is still out there. Maybe there's someone who is more spiritual, who actually enjoys poetry readings (without making fun of the reader) or knows how to place pre-crusty dishes in a dishwasher.

To research the topic a little further, I did what any normal 30-something, public relations girl would do; I turned to social media and asked the masses.

The responses poured in on how perfect their mate is; how their love is better than any former lover; and how winding and broken roads led them to whom they are with now.

A former high school peer, Jamie Lapinski-Brown, confessed, "I knew I would marry my husband the night I met him — he says he felt the same way. I think other people can make us happy, but that there is one person that is our match."

As cupid's arrow was just starting to wedge under my thick, pale skin, another response came from a fellow student of Lindenwood University.

"If each of us has just one person that is perfect for us, then the odds are terribly against us ever being happy," Chris Duggan stated. "I tend to think people are suited for us, or not, to varying degrees, and that the struggle is to find a person with whom we fit well in as many ways as possible."

Duggan later admitted his statement was a "very unromantic, analytical" response; however, I felt the truth that seeped out from his words. The odds do sound terrifying, considering the world's population.

What about the Eva Masters of the world? Masters is a young woman in my church who, just days before giving birth to her son, lost her husband.

Masters typed that if there is truly only one person out there for you, "then I'm going to be lonely until Jesus comes or until I'm called home. I believe Aaron was my husband for a reason; he was and is my true love. But I believe God is going to send (my son) and I a man of God who will love us and whom we will love just as much. I believe love is a choice and in God's goodness and grace He has given us the ability to love others."

If there were only one person for Masters, is she destined to never love again? I think if society continues to instill in us that there is only one person for you, then that thought provides you an excuse.

What if expectations in a relationship or marriage are not met, or you hit a rough patch in your marriage? Can you just chalk it up to them not being "the one?" I agree with Masters that love is a choice. It's a choice made daily to love them despite their flaws, their idiosyncrasies, to realize neither of you are perfect, and neither of you are out to get each other with your annoyances.

Some nights, as I crawl into bed and place my Popsicle toes in between my husband's toasty feet, he has to remind himself my actions are not intended to annoy him, and for some reason he chooses to love me anyway.

So the first step is to find someone you want to love. Second step, love them with all your heart, mind and soul, despite cold toes and crusty dishes.

Heather Kemper-Hussey of Wentzville is director of communications for a church in Dardenne Prairie. Opinion Shapers are chosen annually to write columns on topics of interest to them.