Your endodontist not open for a root canal Sunday evening?

Have you already thanked all those old socks that no longer spark joy?

Is your hair already shampooed? Your toilet already clean?

Here in St. Louis, watching the Rams-Patriots Super Bowl on Sunday is pretty low on our list of priorities.

We’re still saltier than a feedbag full of Tostitos after the Rams abandoned us for the West Coast in 2016. (We were already pretty salty over their Super Bowl loss to the Patriots in 2002.) Who in their self-loathing mind wants to see the Los Angeles Rams battle the Pats?

We can help you not watch the Super Bowl — or at least make life tolerable if you have to. Kickoff is at 5:30 p.m. Start your mental or physical escape plan now.

By Valerie Schremp Hahn, St. Louis Post-Dispatch

Valerie Schremp Hahn is a features writer for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.