Dear Abby • Yesterday I was in a retail store with my service dog. The clerk asked me what kind of service dog she was and I replied, “She’s my service dog.” She kept pressing me as to exactly why I have one, so I asked her if she was inquiring about my disability. When she said, “Yes,” I politely informed her that federal HIPAA laws protect my right to privacy. She then said — loud enough for everyone in the store to hear — “I don’t know what the big deal is. I just want to know what the dog does for you.”
Please let your readers know how to be around a person and their service animal:
1. You do NOT have the right to ask about the person’s disability. To do so is rude. Most people prefer strangers not know their medical condition.
2. Children (and adults) need to understand that when service animals’ jackets go on, the dogs know it’s time to go to “work,” and they take their job seriously. At that point, they are not pets and should not be treated as such.
3. You may ask to pet the dog, but don’t assume it will be allowed. If given permission, the dog should be scratched under the chin ONLY.
Service animals know their place. It’s a shame that most people are not as polite. — NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
Dear N.O.Y.B. • Thank you for sharing this information. According to the Americans With Disabilities Act website (ada.gov): “Businesses may ask if an animal is a service animal or ask what tasks the animal has been trained to perform, but cannot require special ID cards for the animal or ask about the person’s disability.”
Dear Abby • I have been friends with a woman for the last 30 years. Our children are the same age. My daughter, who is in her late 20s, has a number of tattoos on her arm that she can cover with clothing if she chooses. However, she doesn’t cover them often because she likes them and they mean something to her.
Recently, I showed my friend a picture of my daughter that showed one of the tattoos on her upper arm. My friend said, “Oh, I am so sorry about the tattoo,” and proceeded to cover the tattoo with her hand, implying that my daughter would be attractive if it weren’t for the body art.
I was so hurt by her comment that I was speechless. I’m not sure I can continue the relationship feeling this way. — COMPLETELY THROWN BY THIS
Dear Thrown • For a friendship of 30 years to end over one thoughtless comment would be sad for both of you. Sometimes people say things without thinking, and this is an example. Resolve your feelings by talking to her in person and telling her how deeply hurt you were by what she said. It will give her the chance to apologize and make amends.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069.
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