Subscribe for 99¢

Dear Abby I am a single male in my early 50s who looks younger. A married couple approached me and expressed their desire for me to become intimate with them as a couple. They are only acquaintances.

I was surprised but interested when they told me they have an open marriage and would like me to participate with the wife. They are into threesomes, swinging and swapping. I have never participated in such activities, although I admit that I am now very curious.

They know I am a religious person and told me that they don’t consider it to be adultery or coveting since they are willing participantsand there are no secrets or desire to break up their marriage. I told them I’d think about it and get back to them.

When I discussed it with my married brother, he was all for it. But when I talked about it with my divorced sister, at first she thought I was trying to recruit her as a participant, which I was not. Once I cleared that up, she voiced no opinion.

I am a clean-cut boy-next-door type of person. I don’t flirt with women, and I’m discreet about my personal life. This could be why this couple approached me. I would appreciate your thoughts. — Curious in California

Dear Curious • I’m glad to oblige. Because you are a religious person, look up the definition of adultery. My dictionary defines it as having sex with someone other than your spouse. Covet means to lust after. This swinging couple appears to have their own definition of those terms, which do not mesh with reality.

That said, being in your sixth decade, you are a big boy, and the decision whether to participate is strictly up to you. I know the offer is flattering, but it might be interesting to know what your religious adviser would have to say about this. Before proceeding, perhaps consider seeking advice from that person.

Dear Abby • My 24-year-old son is a good young man and mostly responsible and mature, except in one area. He fails to see the importance of keeping up regular oil changes on his two vehicles.

I keep track of when he’s had the last oil change, and I start reminding him at the time they are due. I have tried to tell him how important it is. I’ve even made the appointment and taken the vehicles in myself. What can I do to get him to take care of this responsibility by himself? — Nagging Mother in Wisconsin

Dear Mother • The way for your son to learn that lesson is for you to stop nagging and let him suffer the consequences for his irresponsibility. You may have helped the cars by taking them in, but you did not help your son.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.